Although Mother’s Day celebrates all mothers around the world, there are many mothers who struggle to celebrate the day. A mother’s instinct to nurture and protect their child remains the same even in the event of their death. Mother’s Day is a bittersweet day mothers who have experienced loss of their child. They feel immense​ joy because they were blessed with their child and feel gratitude for every moment she was given with them. Yet on the other hand, the pain of missing their child every day is intense. Bereaved mothers live with many confusing contrasts that tug at and toss about in their hearts and minds.

There is no greater sorrow in all the earth than that of losing a child. Not only does a bereaved mother’s heart bleed but her arms ache to hold their precious child. Their grief lingers and changes like the weather. Somedays it’s calm, quiet, maybe even a little sunny. Other days it’s a devastating storm that makes them angry, sad, exhausted, raw, and empty. They miss their child every day. And of all days, it is especially difficult on Mother’s Day. They want to celebrate the child they carried, birthed, and nurtured. They want to bask in who they have become, not recall who they were. They long to see them alive, hold them close and inhale the scent that was only theirs.

Here I ask you to help by:
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Remembering all mothers whose child cannot be seen. Acknowledge the child who lives in her heart and not in her arms so that she is not isolated in her grief.

Be understanding why bereaved mothers might avoid public Mother’s Day celebrations, and instead visit the cemetery to see their son’s or daughter’s name written because no one speaks it anymore.

Tell her she is courageous. She has survived the unimaginable and managed to crawl out of bed yet again today.

Give her some space to grieve and a moment of peace to rest. Know that she will be okay.

​May this day be for bereaved mothers to speak honestly, remember, celebrate, and heal. May they hold onto hope when all seems dark, find joy and inspiration to keep moving forward.

My heart goes out to all those brave mothers grieving on Mother’s Day.

Caroline Cheung-Yiu
Founder and Patient Advocate
Complex Undiagnosed Rare and Extraordinary (CURE)

A heartfelt thank you to all mothers of rare and undiagnosed children. You are courageous, strong, resourceful and resilient. Your immense love and persistence in advocating for the well-being for your children transcends through this community, you pave the way, share your wisdom and inspire hope for other families on the long journey to diagnosis and treatment.

There is no doubt that all mothers sacrifice and stay strong for their children amidst the most difficult situations. As mothers of the rare and undiagnosed, a multitude of challenges push strength and self- sacrifice to the verge of becoming superhuman. Faced with perplexing circumstances while under the constant squeeze of stress and perpetual lack of rest. Faith is challenged, finances drained and worry is heavy on your heart. You do not give up despite what you are told. You keep going, no matter what the day may bring. Your child’s quality of life is such a high priority that you have forgotten your own.

You are courageous to forge ahead despite what limits in lifespan and abilities you have been told your child has. To choose between a high risk procedure or surgery that could lessen quality of life maybe even end an already medically fragile life or to live life out to the fullest comfortably and with dignity.

You have strength you didn’t know you had both physically and emotionally.  To keep it all together and carry your child through it all. Runs to the ER, stays in the ICU, invasive procedures and tests. And when the time comes and the reality of death is imminent, you know that you would trade places with them in a heartbeat. But instead, you are faced with the heart-wrenching task of letting them go on before you.

In pursuit of answers and possibilities you become resourceful. Scouring the internet, reading pages upon pages of research to stay abreast of new technology and developments in science and medicine. Reaching out to connect with specialists, scientists and other parents, learning from them just as they also learn from you.

You show resilience as you dance delicately on the fine line between protecting the health of your frail little one and allowing them freedom to experience the joys of childhood. You carry your burdens with grace every single day yet somehow, someway despite the unimaginable pain, and countless challenges you also find incredible joy too.

On this Mother’s Day, Keep moving forward, give hope to one another, you have superhuman abilities and know that you are appreciated not only being an advocate for your children but leading the way for other families like yours too.

In Good Health and Always Hope.
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Caroline Cheung-Yiu
Founder and Patient Advocate
San Diego Undiagnosed Family Support Group